still coming off of last nights awesome performance, Damn it felt good. No words can describe the rush I get when performing, i miss it. I still cant believe how awesome it was last night. thank you to everyone that came out to support. Who knows this might be the performance that will get me back to dancing.
if you missed it here it is!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
familiar jitters
so because dancing was a part of my life for like 5-6 years of my life, that was all i knew, all i did. Performing in front of hundreds, even thousands became second nature to me. Fast forward 2 years and 7 months since my last performance (culture shock san diego shocase), and im nervous as fuck for this “parent show” that mira mesa dance team hosts annually. Why? I don’t want to fuck up, thats why, ive always taken pride in knowing ill pull through and put on a good show and the last time ive felt this nervous was over 2 years ago, yeah its been a while. omg wish me luck tonight hahaha
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
just some things on my mind
I feel like up to this point in my life that I've been blessed, undeserving? maybe?, but mostly blessed.
When I sit back and think about things i have accomplished and working on in my life, its pretty progressive/consistent. I've done things for myself to keep moving forward, or so i think, But I can't help but think about how my disappointing college career has been. As much as I feel blessed to have the things in my life, i feel undeserving because as of right now i feel like im letting people close to me down by not performing the way i know i can in school. Is it because my priorities are loosely organized? maybe, do i spread myself too thin and bite off more than i can chew? possibly, or am i too concentrated on trying to please myself while trying to please others as well? sure. When asked how I'm doing in school I pretty much sugar coat my situation by saying, "it's okay", or "just trying to get by". With my finals coming up i feel more undeserving than ever, it's to the point where i feel like if i really want to succeed in college EVERYTHING needs to go out the door, well not completely, but that's what it feels like, get rid of social life, extracurricular activities (bboyin, basketball, gym), orgs (KAMP, AB, ZULU), basically everything that makes me, ME, like everything im blessed with i feel needs to go out the door just to succeed in college. I'm feeling pressure to succeed, my parents aren't getting any younger, my gf is graduating this year from UCI, most of my friends will be out of college within the year, and here I am struggling to get out of remedial classes (non-transferable classes).*deep breath* What's done is done i just have to do better next time.
When I sit back and think about things i have accomplished and working on in my life, its pretty progressive/consistent. I've done things for myself to keep moving forward, or so i think, But I can't help but think about how my disappointing college career has been. As much as I feel blessed to have the things in my life, i feel undeserving because as of right now i feel like im letting people close to me down by not performing the way i know i can in school. Is it because my priorities are loosely organized? maybe, do i spread myself too thin and bite off more than i can chew? possibly, or am i too concentrated on trying to please myself while trying to please others as well? sure. When asked how I'm doing in school I pretty much sugar coat my situation by saying, "it's okay", or "just trying to get by". With my finals coming up i feel more undeserving than ever, it's to the point where i feel like if i really want to succeed in college EVERYTHING needs to go out the door, well not completely, but that's what it feels like, get rid of social life, extracurricular activities (bboyin, basketball, gym), orgs (KAMP, AB, ZULU), basically everything that makes me, ME, like everything im blessed with i feel needs to go out the door just to succeed in college. I'm feeling pressure to succeed, my parents aren't getting any younger, my gf is graduating this year from UCI, most of my friends will be out of college within the year, and here I am struggling to get out of remedial classes (non-transferable classes).*deep breath* What's done is done i just have to do better next time.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)